can we just take a moment to appreciate Thesmophoriazusae?

Idiot: Legalizing gay marriage will destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage.
Intelligent person: Well, what about divorce? Doesn't divorce destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage as well? If so, why aren't you against divorce? What about people like Kim Kardashian who get married for three months and then get divorced? Should we ban her from ever getting married again? I didn't think so.
Idiot: Legalizing gay marriage will open the doors to other types of marriage, like being able to marry your dog, family member, or several people at once.
Intelligent person: People thought the same thing about interracial marriage and it's been legal for quite some time now. I don't recall any doors being opened to interspecies marriage because of interracial marriage. Furthermore, there are several states that allow you to marry your first cousin and I believe that door was opened by traditional marriage, not gay marriage.
Idiot: Legalizing gay marriage will redefine the word "marriage".
Intelligent person: Words are redefined every day and people don't seem to mind. If they redefined the word "marker", would you protest it because "marker" has had a set definition for years? Switching around a few words so that same-sex couples are included in the definition cannot and will not affect your existing marriage in any way, shape, or form.
Idiot: Marriage is about reproducing. Two people of the same sex cannot reproduce.
Intelligent person: What about sterile men and infertile women? They're still allowed to get married. Why not ban that as well? And if you want to get technical, gay couples can reproduce via a surrogate, but that's probably a little too technical for you, Mr. Idiot.
Idiot: Legalizing gay marriage will devalue existing traditional marriages.
Intelligent person: If two total strangers living several hundred miles away from you getting married affects your marriage somehow, then I don't think your marriage was that strong to begin with.
Idiot: The Bible states that marriage is between a man and a woman.
Intelligent person: The Bible says a lot of things, but this country is not governed by what the Bible says. This country is governed by what the Constitution says and the first amendment states, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof."
Idiot: Marriage and family go hand-in-hand. In order to properly raise a child, the child must have a mother and a father. If we legalize gay marriage and same-sex couples raise children, the children will grow up confused.
Intelligent person: A child does not need to have both a mother and a father in order to grow up secure and successful. If you don't believe me, you can visit the man who lives in the White House. As for same-sex couples raising children, several scientific studies have concluded that being raised by same-sex parents does not affect a child's self-esteem, gender identity, or emotional health.
Idiot: Gay marriage is against my religious belief and as an American I reserve the right to religious freedom.
Intelligent person: Really? Gays getting married will not take your religious freedom away. You're allowed to believe in whatever you want, but you're not allowed to try and impose your beliefs on me by trying to take my rights away. That is not religious freedom.